Meet Richard Head. But then you already have.

He drives a 4000 pound SUV with one hand and half a brain. He accelerates through stop signs, turning right but looking left.

His name is Richard Head. How do I know? I often call after him using the informal contraction of his first name. He always responds to it. That's how I know.

There are many Richard Heads out there.

Some of them ride bicycles, also with one hand and half a brain.

Now meet B. Itch. Her you also know. She walks across an intersection, after the lights have changed, shouting to an invisible companion located somewhere by her left lapel. She might as well have a stick or guide dog. She's blind, to everything around her, especially bicycles.

A cell phone turns an average citizen into a rude moron and public danger.

Welcome to cycling in the city.

To avoid these menaces, you must drive the car front of you, the one in back of you and one parked halfway down the block with the front door about to swing open. And still keep two hands on your bike. If you always think the worst can happen and probably will, you're probably Jewish.

But you may be ready when it does.

So remember the 11th Commandment God gave Moses: Thou Shalt Be Visible.

1. Wear the reflective gear. Wear the flashing light. (At night, wear the head light.)
2. Ride to the right of the center of the lane, not at the edge. That's where drivers will be looking for other cars and hopefully will see you. It will also keep you from running into a door just opening by Mr Head or Ms Itch on a cell phone.
3. Do not stop in a car?s blind spot at a red light. Stop in front or behind. If you are behind, wait to see if the car is turning right when the light changes. If you stop in front, GO immediately. The car can turn right after you've left.
4. Don't ride on the sidewalk and then drive directly onto the road. No driver is expecting this so you can expect trouble. Anyway, if you?re over 11 you are not supposed to ride a bike on the sidewalk. And you are over 11.
5. Signal. Put the arm out, look behind you, if you can, when making turns or changing lanes. Be obvious. (There is nothing subtle about staying alive on a bike in traffic.)
6. Don't pass cars on the right. When you get to an intersection a left turning motorist won?t see you. And the car you?re passing won?t run interference.
7. Never move left in a lane without looking behind you. Many cars find it a game to pass bicycles as close as they can. They think it?s their road.
8. Never ride against traffic. Turning cars aren't looking for you, they're looking the other way.
9. Rush hour is crazy hour. People are crazy to get to the office or home, crazy to have a drink, crazy having HAD a drink, crazy to beat the car in front and be first to the red light.

Finally, if the worst happens and you do run (literally) into our friends Richard or B, or they run into you, at least you have the consoling thought as you hit the pavement that they can call for help.

On their cell phone.

If you want to get to a better place, start pedaling.

---The Geezer